Monday, July 02, 2012

No kids ?? means No Love !

Do they have kids ??? 

That was the question i heard thousand times , when people i know heard about the news of my cousins loss of her husband , do they have kids ? once i said No the got relived and said ashwa?? 

i was wondering , why they feel  that her loss is easier now because she don`t have children ?? 

I will talk to you according to my experience , not having any kids yet , made my relationship with my husband stronger , of course in my case ,  j was there for me and both of us make a pact to stick with each other no matter what . 

So , couples with no children usually live together happily , they understand each other , and they know they are there for each other . Not all couples think that way , it depends on the form of their  relationship , communication , and why did they married for the first place . 

More over acceptance is an important factor to keep their marriage stronger , more importantly, they don't let the desire to have kids outweigh the love between them . 

These are some of the ways that kept me live my life happily , people keep asking me , how i am dealing with my life , or how can i enjoy it and survive in my marriage ? i am a human and yes sometimes it hurts me , but that is God`s will , i am sorry to say that but comparing my life with people around me makes me say Al7mdelah , because i don't want to have children and live the way they are living . 

My cousin loves her husband a lot , i know that , so i hate it when people thought that because she don`t have children her sadness will be less , trust me , the more time you spend with partner  the stronger your love will be . 

Allah yr7mah o y6amin galbha enshalah 


swera said...

I dont think it's meant that way! When people say "ashwa" they mean it in a good way, that she won't have to raise the kids alone, or be a single mom dealing with orphans! So losing a husband without having kids is easier for her to move on but it does not mean less love!

beside, having kids can make ur life stronger or weaker, same thing goes to not having kids, it can ruin ur life or make it better! depends on the couple themselves!

Allah yer7ama o y9aberha ya rb! o rabbi yarzegech bethoreya e9al7a!

Khaled K said...

Great post, I've been married for 3 years and wasn't blessed with a child yet, so I know exactly what you feel, and I completely agree with you.

the boudoir. said...

allah y9abirha wiy3eenha..i dont get what kids have to do, no the loss for the mother is maybe even harder than it is on the kids! kilmat "ashwa" is offending.

allah yhaneech wiytamim 3alaich, you're right I see some who have children and the others who couldnt, i have some with children who are dying for a divorce because of problems, and those without who sacrifice being with the spouse because of the love they have for them..allah yarzigkum wiytamim 3ala sa3adatkum

NewQ8 Bride said...

swera: agree with u dear , it is all bout the couples themselves . bas 7raam takser kha6ree lama ygooloon ashwa mako yahal she can go on with her life , i know how she was attached to him .

Khaled K : enshalah yarab on the right time God will give u what u really wanted , i guess u understand what i meant in my post

the boudoir : thank u dear , ee walah i hate when people keep wondering if there is anything wrong in my life that`s why i dont have kids .

om 7amany said...

darling i know what u mean lel2saf mojtama3na mareeth and no 1 minds his own business , i would like 2 share my story with you if you are intrested i think it will comfort u in a way , i have always wanted 2 do a support group so let me start with you :)

Anonymous said...

i agree with swear about what people mean when they say ashwa..
but also i understand what u mean by having a stronger marriage even when u don't have kids.. allah ytmm 3leech enshallah w yrzgch b kids eha kan fe zyadt s3ada lch
i have been married for 10 years I'm 33 now and god just blessed me with a girl and a boy last year..
w enshallah ur cousin allah ybrd 3la glbha .. w y3w'6ha 5eer..