Emotional breakdown and a wake up call

I was kind of desperate the last few days , I was thinking what will happened to me the next 30 years ? I know that kind of negative thoughts are bad for me , I should have faith in God that everything in my life is going according to God's will .

El7mdelah , I am a strong woman , and I am saying el7mdelaah to everything is happening in my life . Sometimes , i feel some weakness , that I forget every wonderful detail and concentrate on the emptiness :( I hate it when that unstable mood happened but I am human and I am weak .

On the last few days during my emotional breakdown , estghfar alaah I kept asking why me ? And why this is happening to me added to that , I am not loosing weight which is the end of the world for me , during all these angry emotions I forget that God knows what is the best for me , I received a news the death of a young man , he is almost as the same age as JJ :(

I thought , what are the feeling of his wife ? What is her life is going to be the next 30 years ? I felt ashamed of myself , that I have to thank God for the blessings I am owning , I have an amazing parents el7mdelah , a lovable husband , great friends and am a healthy person that I can walk , see and listen


Alhumdellah for everything , and I feel sorry that once I thought that God is punishing me for not giving me what I wanted



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