Monday, January 03, 2011

2011 :) a fresh start o a New Attitude

Hey J it’s the 1st working week of 2011  , how is everyone : )

That image summarize my weekend ;)

Walah it was really a good break, I had so much fun , party , friends and family BBQ gathering .

Guess what? I didn’t spend the new year`s eve with JJ !! I planned a party with my friend and he was camping.

Hmm , I think its fine , although I noticed some question marks , that if everything is fine between us ??

I am not saying that am wrong, or right, but I believe that there are no stereotype of the perfect couples , each 2 are unique and different , so spending new year`s eve apart doesn’t mean that we r facing problems , especially if we are happy , to be honest , I was excited , calling him after the countdown to find out the he was calling me at the same time just to greet each other .

We both had an astonishing time .

I was talking with my 2 best friends ( the only 2 remained from our Mishref`s group ) because of silly girls stuff , any way, we were talking about engagements and marriage , both of them singles , we came cross the point of being clear about your needs , rules and interests to the man who is proposing to you . I believe that you have to explain to him , what is the image you have created to yourself as a married woman , for example : do you see yourself that loving mother of 4 or 5 children , preparing their meals , helping them doing their home works and waiting for your husband to come back home from his dewanya : ) Spending your vacations with him and the kids in one of the families resorts ? or the other image of the outgoing wife (girlfriend type ) , who can’t give away her me time of watching her favorite TV show , hanging out with her friends , travelling for a week without her husband shopping in one of the cosmopolitan cities , just to come back and impress him with her new look and spending her break with him in one of the exotic islands ;) just the 2 of them telling everyone they are honeymooners while the truth is they’ve been married for 5 years

I am not judging any type, both can create healthy marriage life according to the couples themselves.

One of us disagree, she said you can’t tell him what you want from the beginning , because most men who said No , will change after years . For me I can’t wait 3 or 5 years waiting for him to change, and he may not ??? , I know girls who’ve been married for 10 years now and nothing changed? I can’t live my life acting that am happy while am hiding a tiny little desire that I really want to spend time with my friends !! or go to spa , or have time alone without kids reading a book in a café .

She was clear replying to me that if he didn’t change , she will not argue with him , I asked her : even if he stopped you from meeting us ? Surprisingly she replied: YES

I went back home , thinking , looking around , where are my friends ?all of them who get married , left the group , I am the only one who didn’t change !! I am not writing that post to show everyone that I am the best , but I am telling the truth .

I guess I did a huge mistake by not skipping them , ignoring their calls and meet them once a year .

I am not blaming them , they choose what they really want ,

I guess I have to reorganize my priorities


Rumaitha said...

If you let everything out at the open to begin with, the man would know from the beginning what you want and if that suits him but hiding behind a closet and just later on burst out wanting freedom and all isn't something that I would do. I prefer that I be honest and tell my husband to be what I expect and what I want rather than just letting him do what he wants since he usually shows you from the beginning that he needs dewanya and camping time with friends.

Unknown said...

i spent new year twittering and my husband doing 3omra with his friends.

i agree with what u said about being clear with your husband about what ur looking to be when u get married a lot may not believe in that but it's the first step to healthier marriage

noora said...

no girl would have a written list of what she has on her mind regarding marriage or boundries, what she can give up or what she won't... fe basics tathkereenha lah min awal ga3da and u make it crystal clear for him that THIS is something I'm not compromizing on, period! ya3ni mathalan ana bakamil derasty abroad, I planned it an Im doin it o etha he dosnt approve m3 esalama wil alb da3eelik! bs fe ashya m3 il wqt etaqayar, so lesh enaqesh.ha aslan!!! 
ya3ni eqolich ma7ib sahar bileal o abech etredeen il bet at 10, m3 il ayam etseer il 11 wil 11.30 3adi !! hal ashya il basee6a lazem e6awfenha o sa3at lazim etqayreenha cuz it might annoy him wil salfa ma teswa!
ya3ni il wa7da tadre shino the most important issues, each in her opinion, to discuss m3 il rayal min awal qa3da no?

and 3ala salfat ily etaqayeron after zwaj, well... mesakeen. Yemkin tetmela7 awal months "mashqoola", "ma yrtha a6la3", bs eventually betmil sa7?! 

when u get married u dont neglect YOU, ur needs, joy or pleasure! il wanasa m3 il ahal qer 3n wanasat il ryel aw il refejat! m7d ya5ith mokan a7ad. akeed oho il asas bs dont change anything about u, be true to urself and do what pleases you 3shan lama etshofena etkonen mebtasma ma e6al3een nafsetich feeh 

hathart?? shasawee e7tareet  

Ra-1 said...

انتي الصح
dont change!
I decided to be the (girlfriend type) too and el7emdellah everyone keeps telling us ur like friends not typical husband and wife, and we want to continue living this way just like you & JJ are :) Allah layfaregkom :*

AMA Traveler said...

we had lots of fun ! el7mdela ! o love the way u live o love the way u love to live ;) go on with ur life the way u like ! allah ekhaleekum elb3th ..luv u :*

Just a Though said...

I just want to thank the bloger for this blog. this is so helphul especial some a girl who is embarking into a new chapter in her life. I'm in the middle of a serious relationship and a possible 5i6ba soon and your tips are very very useful.

I also want to thank Noora and Ra-1 for there comments too